How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I am naked and annoyed.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize