he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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