so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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