There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
