I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
