MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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