Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
