MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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