Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize