just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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