thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
wanna go halves on a baby?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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