i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
