What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
