a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He passed out mid-signature
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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