laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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