im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Only a mothe r could love this liver
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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