Buhtt sex?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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