ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
