Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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