Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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