how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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