just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
