I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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