My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
