He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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