Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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