awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
