oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
