I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
