It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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