I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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