You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
