Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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