Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Rumble strips road head = magical
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
