Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
