Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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