He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I forget how to act sober
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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