I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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