these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
