She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
