I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
