I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
