my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
