so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
