also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Vodka?
Forever.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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