Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
