so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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