so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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