You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
