Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
