You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
