Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize