hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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