Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
