isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
