so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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