So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
