You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he fucked my hip out of place.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And then my night got REAL pukey
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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