tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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