I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
