Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
