Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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