There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
