i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
