Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize