You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The uberlube is also flammable
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize