I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
