We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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