you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
