absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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