; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
At least make sure they are 18
Why
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
