I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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