is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
